Leaf by Elizabeth

I'm not feeling cheerful. (There, I said it.) I've been feeling sad and weighed down recently. It's the combination of having to stay home, not knowing when this will end, and so many people getting sick and dying. So I'm making space for the sadness and grief, as much as I can. And at the same time, finding joy in little things. Like the little hippo (name tbd- any suggestions?) I made for Matt. He's very soft and much loved by all of us. I'm making a smaller one for Lucy now. And painting. These bright colors are magically wonderful.  And this little elephant Clara made of legos over the weekend. Also, we went geocaching for the first time this weekend, and had a few fun adventures. People hide little tupperware with treasures and a log-book inside, and then note the GPS coordinates. You then try to find the cache, and can exchange treasures and sign the log book. We found one inside a hollow log (pic

The end of week 3 of staying at home. 3 down, at least 4 more to go. Probably better to just focus on day by day, as that sounds pretty daunting. My big takeaway this week is....this is hard. Not because of anything I'm doing or not doing, but just because it is. All the positive coping strategies we use can make it a little better, but they can't make it not hard. Life is just hard sometimes. That may not sound encouraging, but for me it lessens the burden of feeling like I need to make it all better. Joys * We have been baking SO much! I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a delicious pear pecan bread, Clara made amazingly delicious chocolate chip cookies, (pictured on the left), and Lucy made chocolate cupcakes with an incredible cream cheese icing. words * French braiding hair. I did Lucy's and she did mine. * We've started working on the puzzle of the grandkids in Vermont that Papa Jack gave us a few years ago. The girls love puttin

  There's a sameness to the days. Not a bad sameness, but one I'm not used to. Every day the same routine, as spring slowly drags forward. Meanwhile, my feelings rise and fall, as unpredictable as the days aren't. Yesterday was a really great day. Expressing my sadness and the things I missed felt really good, and I felt calm and cheerful all day. I went for a lovely drizzly walk in the rain, and got to knit while we all watched tv. Today, it's a bright sunny day, but I feel sad and droopy. Glennon Doyle has been talking about being very, very gentle with yourself and with others during this time. That is such a needed and welcome message for me, and I'm trying to focus on it. It's okay that this is hard. It's okay to respond however I'm responding. On a practical level, we've settled into what feels like a pretty good rhythm for our days. Definitely less structured than our initial schedule, but still with defined periods for activities: morni

Flowers in the light. I've been noticing that I feel less comfortable writing when I'm feeling "negative" emotions like anger or sadness. I'm trying to push through that and honor all of my feelings, putting into practice that they are all valuable and worth expressing. Today I'm in a sad place- all is not well in the world, and I feel it deeply. (My logical mind wants to chip in to mention that things are never well in the world and there are always bad things going on. I get it, logical mind. Now can you go organize some index cards over there while I feel my feelings? Thanks). The virus is like a tsunami inching along, day by day. I hate the slowness of it- not being able to just get it all over with at once. I hate the "off-ness" of everything- all the normal parts of life stopped. I miss my petty little complaints about having too many errands to run or soccer carpooling taking forever. I miss hugging my Grandma and my friends.

Hi dear ones! Since this whole thing is becoming more of a marathon than a sprint, I'm adjusting my blog schedule to posting every few days or so. The first week or so I was feeling pretty good emotionally, but the past few days have been harder. I think it's partly that the adrenaline has worn off and we're all settling into this new normal. I'm finding that it takes some concentrated effort and attention each morning to calm and stabilize my emotional self. Thankfully I have the tools (yoga, journaling, art supplies, meditation, etc) and have been practicing this sort of thing for awhile. As part of this, over the last few days I've been drawing my focus in, instead of worrying about everything that's going on. It's kind of like walking on a tightrope and how you need to not look down, but just look straight ahead. I'm continuing to look out for ways that I can help others (like donating blood or contributing to local food pantries), but am tr

Image courtesy of Lucy I've got some reflections for you today. Hang on for the ride! The Story The birds are carrying on as if nothing is wrong. Same with the crocuses and the tree buds. But I don't like the story we're living in these days. It's a sucky story which I would not choose for any of us. I usually feel pretty in control of my day to day life, but this virus has upended a lot of that. I find myself feeling like a character in a story that I'm not writing, like Harold Crick in Stranger Than Fiction . Making a Safe Space for Feelings Image courtesy of Lucy I don't like not being in control (who does??), and have had lots of emotional responses to this situation this past week. I'm trying to make space for them, especially for anger, which is not an emotion I usually feel comfortable expressing. I've often thought, what's the point of expressing it, since it won't change anything. But the point is that I'll fee