Notes from the (social) distance: Day 19, very, very gentle


 
There's a sameness to the days. Not a bad sameness, but one I'm not used to. Every day the same routine, as spring slowly drags forward. Meanwhile, my feelings rise and fall, as unpredictable as the days aren't.

Yesterday was a really great day. Expressing my sadness and the things I missed felt really good, and I felt calm and cheerful all day. I went for a lovely drizzly walk in the rain, and got to knit while we all watched tv. Today, it's a bright sunny day, but I feel sad and droopy. Glennon Doyle has been talking about being very, very gentle with yourself and with others during this time. That is such a needed and welcome message for me, and I'm trying to focus on it. It's okay that this is hard. It's okay to respond however I'm responding.

On a practical level, we've settled into what feels like a pretty good rhythm for our days. Definitely less structured than our initial schedule, but still with defined periods for activities: morning academics with Matt, broken up by a Nintendo "Just Dance" exercise session (so fun!); lunch; quiet time; virtual playdate; afternoon creative time with me; video games; family dinner, tv, then bed. I do my writing and work in the morning and early afternoon, and Matt works in the afternoon.

Some delights from the past few days:

On the left- working on a Littleton historical quilt puzzle. It's such a fun one and Clara has been a great puzzle buddy!

On the right- playing a board game online with Papa Jack. It was so delightful to hear them talking and playing.


Here's a recent poem I wrote. The title was inspired by Abelardo Delgado's poem "Stupid America".

Stupid Coronavirus

Tiny terror, jumping
from body to body,
you send fear ahead,
bloom slowly into exponents.

Think you're powerful
with all you've shut down?
You are microscopic and redundant.
You're nothing without us.

Spiky little ball, dog's chew toy,
you will make us suffer
but you can't steal our spirit.
We create beauty you'll never fathom.

-EAF



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